Be the Change no. 24

“You don’t have to be out of control.”

Be the Change.

There is no need to be angry at folks for the way they behave. For years I have modeled my work life after this idea. I don’t yell out of anger in my classroom. I raise my voice at times and then immediately return to a conversational tone. This amazes my students. “You were just yelling. How can you be so calm?” That is simple when you are still in control. When you are out of control from anger, sadness, pain, joy, fear, then you find yourself unable to pull back to a center. When you keep control and use your voice as a tool, then you remain in control of what happens.

It took me years to apply this behavior outside of the classroom because I was under the impression that most adults were a lot different than middle and high school students. That was an incorrect assumption on my part. Most folks are just as mature and capable of managing their emotions as they were when they lived at home. And a lot of the problems they have with managing emotions go back that far or further.

So, I no longer get angry at folks for lacking the maturity to have conversations about controversial topics. I teach a research unit on debatable claims every year and recognize that, just like my students, a lot of folks need to be taught how to approach differing opinions. I fell into the category a few years ago of attacking the opinions of others, showing the flaws in their ways of thinking, and attempting to reteach where education was needed because I am a teacher. BUT I easily got frustrated with just how our identity is so interwoven into our opinions. One cannot change anymore without the other changing. Part of that is why I started moving toward having principles than beliefs. Beliefs are what folks are ready to die to keep. Principles just govern how you make decisions. It’s easy to look at a principle and use them to guide decisions along the way while beliefs become your entire identity.

Maybe stop losing control? Get back into control of your entire body, including your mind and spirit. Stop lashing out and matching energy. Start mastering you with some guidelines of how to live. I think a lot of people would feel a lot better about themselves and others if they did?

#ThinkBetter #BeBetter #NoGodsNoMasters #MyBodyMyChoice #MakeYourselfGreatAgain #BeTheChange