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Be the Change No. 2

Updated: Jan 25, 2022

“Saying you mirror your actions on the way another person treats you is to give others power over your actions. Which is to say you are enslaved to the actions of others. Why not be free?”

Be the Change.

I do quite often see and hear words to the effect of “matching energy” of other folks. Which is really just saying that you act the way you are being treated by other folks. And I have always had a difficult time with people that have no inner discipline or philosophy to make their own choices. Folks that act emotionally in every situation. Folks that have a malleable morality. One that changes from place to place and person to person.

I, of course, have been thinking a lot about morality this year and how the thinking of folks has gotten twisted and broken by the system and culture that surrounds them. And I can see how this is one of those thoughts that seems on the surface to be something harmless BUT ultimately ends up with evil and immorality. You see, when our actions change based on the actions of others, we get a subjective moral decision. Something that is not uniform and aligned with our self. Actions that are arbitrary and based on situation and circumstance. It’s an inconsistent way of living lives and folks need consistency.

When you have a morality or a philosophy or a code or a religion or a whatever that you internalize that helps you govern your life, then your decisions are objective and based on your choices. You take ownership for your actions when you are working from a place of internal ownership.

When everything is based on external actions, then we get a lot of excuses for actions. You what things like, “she/he/it made me do it” or “she/he/it did it first” or “she/he/it started it”. Externalizing our decisions leads to an imbalance and subjective system. It can be the symptom of unhealthy living or the cause of unhealthy living. But there are certainly going to be more unhealthy decisions to find in a life that is governed by externalized decisions based on ever changing situations. Folks are going to feel out of control and unaligned because this is not a way of controlling yourself. It is a way of controlling others. Putting your actions on the way you are treated makes everyone uncertain what kind of response they are going to get when interacting with you. And it doesn’t take an actual slight on the other, it only takes the perception of slight or wrong from you to then justify poor behavior.

You rarely see this used as an excuse for good behavior, however, it is equally unaligned. You do see the same sort of folks on the other end but they are less likely to be so boisterous and aggressive about choosing their behavior externally. Those folks put on a happy face around their friends to hide the pain they are feeling. They equally mirror the situation and hide what is truly going on within them. This leads to feelings of isolation and loneliness. This is no way to help get what is broken within you fixed. Both the negative and positive aspects of this behavior are cutting themselves off from healing by using emotional barriers to hide or even avoid exactly what they feel inside. And if we are going to fix our culture, then we have to start by fixing ourselves.

If you have a friend that is “matching energy” then know that they need help. Show empathy and not judgment. Be someone that will listen and care. These folks are walking around with emotional walls that they need to break down. These folks need to fix something that is inside them that they are unwilling to fix. Being a true friend and showing your humanity and your ability to listen is important. Remember that we are all working on something to get ourselves further on our journey. Don’t accept the behavior. Recognize the behavior as a request for help as it is. Accept the human that is dealing with their breaks in this manner. They need to get back in control of themself.

Have the day you want. I hope you find whatever you’re looking for.

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ed williams, jr

I got tired of looking for places to place blame and others to fix my problems. I hope you find some of what you're looking for here as well.

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