Personal Meditation No. 35

“Trying to be both the hero and the victim simultaneously is the great mental schism afflicting many people. This comes from a clash of the external need for acceptance and the internal need for accomplishment. Most of this stems from a poor self concept.”

Embrace the Within.

To be the hero and victim simultaneously in your life is an exhausting mental state. On one hand, as the hero you have control over your life and everything you need is inside of you. On the other, as the victim everything is someone or something else’s fault. These two ideas don’t work well together and create a mental instability in a person.

Where does this instability come from and how do we fix it? The most difficult part is identifying the clash of thoughts in yourself.

I get blamed for the actions of others. I’m not sure exactly how this is supposed to work since I am quite certain I only control myself and no one else, however, this process continues. I could take these external pressures to be concerned and feel the weight of this burden or just simply remember and realize that this simply is not true.

I can not make you do anything. You can not make me do anything. We both need to own our choices. One fo the great socially normalizing feelings we have in society that is instilled within our character is a sense of guilt. This guilt comes from many sources and is difficult to shake. We have probably learned guilt from an early age. But breaking from that irrational feeling takes a process and takes time.

Guilt is one of the external forces that we all seem to share in humanity. Despite knowing that we are only responsible for self, we feel guilt and shame for how others react to our lives. And that seems to be a great struggle for not just me but for most people.

This feeling is almost like an indenture to all of humanity. This feeling that we are somehow indebted to one another when we are all just struggling along the best we can. Pride, shame, and guilt manifest the external life into our internal life. And getting rid of those intrusions are tough.

This is a work in progress. Separating what we know about ourselves from the we-ness that is also part of who we are. Coming to terms with the individual that also functions inside of a group, a family, a community, a society. Accepting that a group of mes becomes a we and how me can incorporate its me-ness into the we-ness.

No answers today but many more questions and thoughts about this struggle between the external self and the internal self.

I hope you find whatever you’re looking for. Have the day you want.

#ThinkBetter #BeBetter #NoGodsNoMasters #MyBodyMyChoice #MakeYourselfGreatAgain