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Personal Meditation no. 211

“It’s not all in your mind but if you don’t control your mind, then the rest doesn’t matter.”

Embrace the Within.

I am not around social media that much anymore because I really don’t like what I see. I am not around people in my normal life anymore for much of the same reasons. I find myself easily frustrated with what I see as unexamined lives. Folks that are just accepting how things are and walking around repeating the words they are taught. So, I am turning to reading and studying on my own. Most of my interactions with folks turn out poorly because of me. I am still in a place where I need more joy and abundance and understanding in my own life. And I am working on that.

Until that time though, I think it is better to just type here and work on getting me right. I want to do right by people BUT I also want to do the right thing. And that is part of the problem I have been having recently. Call it a problem with reconciling my need to please people that I got instilled into me at a young age and my need to know and learn that was also part of me from that time as well. I don’t know. The more I walk down this journey of the past decade, then the more it seems like I am finding it even more difficult to get along with folks. I can’t seem to do right by people.

I don’t know exactly what is getting in my way from living in harmony with folks. BUT I am going to keep working on aligning myself and being in harmony with my journey first. That is one thing I can change and can work on improving. I don’t know if the second part, the harmony with folks, is ever going to get better. And that is nothing I am going to change. What I can change is accepting that I have no control over that aspect of my life. I have no control over how others react to me and my journey.

So, it is a lot easier for me to work the process of getting up and working on getting my entire system healthy. Mentally and physically, things are going much better. Only recently have I introduced my spiritual component of reading, prayer, and meditation of daily lessons from The Bible. I am taking the time to get this into my morning routine. I need my own harmony, my own change, my own joy, my own peace first. And I am not at peace right now. BUT it is something to work toward.

And if you don’t see much of me more than these blog posts, know that everything else is going great. This weekend I picked a salad mix from my garden of kale, spinach, lettuce, and broccoli sprouts. I am getting better at the whole tomato and pepper growing business. The three sisters' bed looks amazing. The peas and squash and beans are growing well. Egg production is normal. Haven’t been able to hatch a chick or deliver a rabbit yet BUT those are works in progress. The fruit and seed adventure is getting rather well in hand. Things are looking up around the garden.

So, if the only thing I feel that needs work is harmony, then I think I am doing well all things considered. I could be worried about all sorts of crazy things that folks are worried about. I could be thinking about elections and wars and prices and problems and solutions. BUT I am not. I am only worried about harmony. And I think that’s not a horrible place to be. I kind of like that I have another goal to work along in my journey. It means I am not done with my path. And as long as I have something to learn, something to change, something to work, then I have a meaning and a purpose to continue on this journey. When I feel stagnant and arrived and settled, then I will need to look for something else. So the struggle, the mess, the obstacles, are a thing that I embrace.

Bless your heart. Have the day you want. I hope you find whatever you’re looking for.

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2 Comments


Von Carpenter
Von Carpenter
May 31, 2022

Thank you for posting this. Sure wish you lived closer as you have a lot to offer in the way of teaching.

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edatdoc
edatdoc
May 31, 2022
Replying to

Dude, I will let you know when I get up that way again

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ed williams, jr

I got tired of looking for places to place blame and others to fix my problems. I hope you find some of what you're looking for here as well.

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