Personal Meditation No. 162

“You are not making people angry by your choices. You can only make yourself something.”

Embrace the Within.

You cannot change anyone or make them do anything they do not choose. I think that is what is most frightening about mass genocide, psychological studies, road rage, military recruitment, law enforcement, government service, and any other behavior that we might look down our noses toward and believe, “I would never do something that despicable and vile.” Yet the history of humanity and the study of humanity is a lot of despicable and vile things being done by ordinary, basic people. The frightening thing about the atrocities of human history is that the folks that do these things are quite unremarkable and ordinary.

I get into conversations about human behavior all the time. And I do not make any excuses for why people act the way they do. It is all owned by the person choosing the behavior BUT I do not find myself believing that I am any better or smarter or different than folks that choose to act in unhealthy ways. Hell, I am not making the best and healthiest decisions all day long. Chocolate chip cookies, Phish Food ice cream, and Snicker bars are more my vices than violence and genocide BUT I am not going to pretend that there are not poor choices being made in my life as well. My poor choices mainly affect my personal health and not the lives of other people.

Choosing to be angry is also a choice I get to make. I can find fault for people with their actions and totally overlook my own faults or I can practice a little grace and empathy and recognize that folks are not great at making the best choices at all times. On my libertarian journey, I usually get blasted by statists in wanting people to make their own choices despite the outcomes. I get told that I don’t care about people, that I am selfish, and that I live in a utopian dream. BUT folks make their own choices every day. And those choices are typically motivated by some of the worst reasons especially when folks get caught up in their emotional responses. I have it happen to me as well. I get defensive when I feel under attack. I lash out unfairly at times. I also get to pause and then act and that is one of the things I am slowly working on during these days. Taking the moment between stimulus and response to think. And that thinking has helped me communicate my thoughts rather than communicate my emotions. Feelings are important. Feelings run a lot of what we think and do BUT taking that second to pause and reflect before acting can give some clarity as to what I want to communicate. Do I want to communicate rage or calm? That is my choice.

So, worry less about how your actions are going to affect others and concern yourself more with how your actions are going to affect you? What kind of life do you want to live? What kind of life do you want to model? What is your purpose for acting?

Have the day you want. I hope you find whatever you’re looking for.

#ThinkBetter #BeBetter #NoGodsNoMasters #MyBodyMyChoice #MakeYourselfGreatAgain