Personal Meditation No. 107

"Life is internal conflicts masquerading as external conflicts."

Embrace the Within.

I spend a lot of my day in junior high or middle school depending on your location geographically and historically. And when I come home I have returned to a middle schooler of my own for the last six years and I have one final child that will take my middle school at home experience over the decade mark quite shortly. So, I am rather experienced with the mind and mentality of the middle school brain.

The middle school brain is besieged by chemicals and thoughts beyond its control. The middle school brain is the beginning battle ground of forming identity and value and independence and freedom and change. And it’s a mess. Think back on your experience in middle school and if you remember yourself as composed and dignified, then you’re atypical or delusional. Middle school is a mess.

And it’s easy to blame the middle school child for behaving like a middle school child. To sit back with your decades removed from adolescence and judge. To look down in contempt at behaviors that you find barbaric and savage and feel in a position of superiority and wag your finger. I prefer to laugh, smile, and shake my head while I offer advice to ears that don’t hear the advice right now. I can’t get angry or frustrated with a middle schooler acting like a middle schooler.

Some of us get stuck in middle school behavior. Others get stuck in high school behavior. And even others get stuck in early-twenties behavior. We find a place of mental peak and we stop. We settle into this personality and say that’s me. But if you’re in a different stage it is easy to judge others, to hold a trial in our mind and find others guilty.

That could easily be what this blog is about every day. I could come on here every day and talk about what one group of people is doing wrong. I could scream at you for messing up. I could advocate for people to be put in cages for not living the life I live. I could do that because there are a lot of those voices on media today. Those voices are always present and always loudest. Those voices offer a scapegoat to blame and a good feeling from a mutual enemy. “Those people are messing things up for everyone else. Why can’t they be more like us?”

I didn’t choose that route anymore. I grow weary of the violent rhetoric and the fascination of dying for your beliefs. I prefer to act and live my beliefs. And if you’re inclined to do the same then welcome. If you’re not there yet, then I will see you when you are. I don’t need to be angry or frustrated. I don’t need to scream and throw a tantrum. I don’t need to remake the world in my image. I don’t need to beat you into submission. I need you to get there on your own. Because every one of us has our own journey to travel. Our own path to fulfillment. Our own goal for life.

And it’s easy to place judgment from a different place in life. It’s easy to make yourself feel good by tearing others down. It’s easy to yell and scream at a screen. It’s easy to feel superior. BUT, it’s far better to do something with your life. It’s the only life you can truly and totally change. You might touch the lives of others as I look forward to doing every day. I look forward to teaching what I’ve learned. I look forward to modeling good choices. I look forward to living my values. BUT I don’t expect it to change anyone. Only you can change yourself.

Have the day you want. I hope you find whatever you’re looking for.

#ThinkBetter #BeBetter #NoGodsNoMasters #MyBodyMyChoice #MakeYourselfGreatAgain