- Jan 3, 2022
- 3 min read
“You can yell at me from your bed all you want.”
Embrace the Within.
I recently had an experience where my wife was angry at me for not turning off her daily alarm. She has a difficult time getting the alarm to stop in the mornings and was involved in a rather lengthy argument with the Amazon device that then spilled over into anger with me. Since I am out of bed and always moving forward with my day before anyone else, her anger with the alarm then moved into text messages to me.
I am not angry at the situation and can find the humor in her inability to control the Amazon device because she has a long record of not getting along with any of the Amazon devices in the house. Part of it stems from her calling them by the wrong name and some stem from her not being a person of the morning. Additionally, I am always prepared to be the recipient of her anger. That is just the way relationships work sometimes. Folks lash out because that’s what they choose and she chooses to lash out at me because it’s safe.
The situation made me reflect a little about someone being angry while laying in bed and that image doesn’t sit right with me. Of all the places to be angry, the bed is such an ironic place to be angry. Just roll back over and go to sleep on the soft pillows under the warm comforter and call it a win? And then I thought about the irony of someone being angry at someone that isn’t even there, someone that was in another room, someone that was already working, while they were in bed.
And I thought about how there are a lot of people in places of comfort or ease trying to make folks that are out working feel like things are their fault. People that manipulate those folks out there trying to do the right thing, trying to get ahead, trying to work their ways out of their situations and into something better . . . There are folks trying to make those people looking for change feel like they are at fault. If it’s not yours, then don’t own it.
And I thought again about how there are a lot of people not doing the work that are also trying to make those folks that are out there working feel like things are their fault as well. Working folks get it from both sides, don’t they? The folks that aren’t working on change abound on both sides making them feel like they’re to blame for wanting something different, something better. Both sides are yelling at them from their beds they made out of either comfort or routine. Both sides want them to stop making things different. Both sides want them to just get back to going along with the status quo. If it’s not mine, then I won’t own it.
So, if you get angry with me in your bed, that is on you. I am not angry at you for yelling at me from your bed. I am too busy working on me. I am too busy owning what I am doing. So, you will just have to excuse the fact that I may hear your screams or I may not. Either way, that anger is not something I have to own because it is not mine. It is yours. Your anger is your responsibility just like my change is my responsibility.
There are going to be plenty of folks that get angry at you from time to time for whatever reasons they choose. Some will choose to be angry at you for a long time and for any assortment of reasons. The important piece is to understand their anger is their responsibility and your change is yours. So, while they can get as angry as they want, know that you have other things on which to focus. Leave them in their beds and put in the work that needs be done.
Have the day you want. I hope you find whatever you’re looking for.