The Rational Rabbit Hole no. 2

“Is it well with you?”

Embrace the Within

Growing up in church, I always enjoyed a few hymns that would get the regular rotation in the Pentecostal church I attended. I always enjoyed Rock of Ages, Old Rugged Cross, Amazing Grace, and Blessed Assurance to name just a few that come to mind quickly. BUT the one that was on my mind this morning during my scripture reading was It Is Well in My Soul. The first verse sings:

“When peace like a river, attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll

Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say

It is well, it is well, with my soul.”

Now I have been out on the Patuxent River crabbing when the water was billowing and rolling on a tiny boat and there is not a lot of peace at that moment. There is a lot of apprehension and fear. BUT in spite of that apprehension and fear, whatever my lot as the song sings, it is well in my soul. And I am really feeling that lesson today. Because for a long time I was out here preaching what I thought was the good word and things were not well in my soul. I made a lot of folks angry on purpose. And I was rather certain that they needed to be angry because they were in trouble. They were unhealthy and duped and programmed and ignorant and lost and any other pejorative adjective you would like to add on the heap.

I was rather shitty to folks and, in my self righteousness, I didn’t feel the least bit bad about that because it was their fault. They should know better, they should do better, they should be better. BUT, I understand that the pride I felt in what I was doing was one of the problems a lot of us have in our lives. We believe everyone is just like us. They look like us. They are in the same place as us. They have similar public lives as us. They must be like us. And we also look at people that are dissimilar externally in the same ways and think they are much different from us. So we get kind of hung up and confused when folks don’t think like we do. We get confused when folks don’t believe what we do. We get confused when folks have differing perspectives than we do. Well, then, they must be part of that different category all along. And we feel like we need to get them back into our herd, back into our flock, back into being our clone. And I think a lot of that is our own pride, our own control, our own self righteousness.

And I see it all around me now. I see it in parenting, in education, in friendships, in media, in politics, in families, in communities, in organizations, in religions, and all over God’s earth. We are not well in our souls. So we try to make others as unwell as we feel. And no amount of suffering will ever be enough to fill our hole. No amount of pride and self righteousness will ever be enough to fill our hole. No amount of activity and business will ever be enough to fill our hole. No amount of money or power will ever be enough to fill our hole. No amount of fame or glory will be enough to fill our hole. Because it’s a God-shaped hole. And that’s all that is ever going to be able to fill that hole. That is all that is ever going to make it well in our soul.

I hope all is well within your soul today. And if it isn’t, then take some time to make it well? Getting well, being healthy, is both the easiest and most difficult choice to make.

Bless your heart. Have the day you want. I hope you find whatever you’re looking for.

#ThinkBetter #BeBetter #NoGodsNoMasters #MyBodyMyChoice #MakeYourselfGreatAgain #EmbracetheWithin

The Rational Rabbit Hole no. 1

“Bless your heart.”

Embrace the Within.

I didn’t stop writing. I just stopped publishing over the past few days because I was trying to figure out where this next part of the journey was going and how to define this next part of the journey. I get questioned a lot and I am not at all playing a victim in that. I openly put myself out there to be questioned. I am confident enough in my journey and my studies to be openly transparent about the struggles and triumphs and obstacles I face. So, as my journey has started to embrace more of a spiritual component that I had for years shunned and even ridiculed, there are apt to be questions. And I totally understand that. There is no one with more questions than me. I did not set out on a journey to rediscover my younger self. I did not set out on a journey to make people angry or disappointed. I did not set out on a journey to be a hypocrite. I set out on my journey to make myself healthy. And I wasn’t healthy fourteen days ago. I seemed like I was doing great BUT I really was a mess. That is not to say I am no longer a mess, however, I have a better handle on the messiness of life.

So, as of yet, I have no title for this new direction in my life BUT since the journey incorporates a slightly new routine, I figured I would start with outlining the changes and tweaks and additions to the daily routine. So, I still start out with the supplements and exercise routine. I am currently taking some D3, citrus bergamot, fish oil, and a multivitamin. My workout routine is the same with some increase in repetitions. I do my thirty push ups, thirty pointer dogs, a thirty second seated toe touch stretch, thirty crunches, thirty dead bugs which are like the pointer dogs but just on your back, fifteen lounges, fifteen bicep curls, fifteen bicep pulls, fifteen side tilts, a two minute plank, and fifty jumping jacks. I follow this with a glass of saltwater that I have been incorporating into my diet for quite some time. I mix a teaspoon of Real Salt with a gallon of water and that is my electrolyte mix for the day. As I am drinking that water I start doing some scripture study from a daily email I get from Kairos that gives me a little different part of scripture to read outside of my work on reading through The Bible. I am currently reading through the Old Testament and I am currently on 1 Samuel Chapter 8. I have also added a few new podcasts of the spiritual nature to my assortment. My complete list of podcasts are as follows: The Adventure Zone, BibleProject, Bible Study, Bible Study Podcast, Pentecostal Pioneers, The Lord of Spirits, How Not To Think, Revisionist History, Own Your Choices Own Your Life, The Jason Stapleton Program, Everyday Wellness, The Empowering Neurologist, and Behavioral Grooves. I am still off as much processed foods as I can manage. Some stuff I just have not been able to start making yet with garden production BUT that is part of the journey forward. I am working intermittently fasting to stop eating around 6 pm every day unless dinner runs late and not eating until 10 am every morning. That has been the best in keeping down my weight in conjunction with getting rid of the bulk of sugary and processed foods. Sure, I still enjoy some sugar BUT it is not the bulk of my diet. I keep shopping the produce sections and looking to avoid corn syrup and seed oils from my diet. And that, my friends, is a lot of a job in itself because most of the market and grocery is seed oil and corn syrup. Everything on the plantation is about the same. I get out there each morning to water the plants and let out the chickens and I feed the chickens and rabbits in the evening and lock the chickens back up at sunset. The garden is getting much better. I am getting much better at transplanting pepper and tomato plants. And that is mostly where I am today.

So, I hope that helps answer a lot of questions about where I am. I was questioned a lot when I moved into the liberty space of thought because I was fighting a lot. Now that I am moving into a Christian space, I get a lot of questions as well. The difference is that I am no longer going to fight to change you. You get to make that choice on your own. I am going to live my example. I am going to live my testimony. I am going to do what is right and just and joyful and abundant. And if you want to find an issue with that. If you want to think I am in a cult. If you want to think I am crazy. If you want to think I am a hypocrite. If you want to think anything, then that is your choice. I am going to live my life in the way God intended. I hope you do the same.

Bless your heart. Have the day you want. I hope you find whatever you’re looking for.

#ThinkBetter #BeBetter #NoGodsNoMasters #MyBodyMyChoice #MakeYourselfGreatAgain #EmbracetheWithin