No scripture this morning to start off my writing and meditation. Today I want to just speak from my life experience to this point because the year is coming to a close and it has been a while since I reflected on where I started and where I am today.
Almost four years ago, I was in a rough place physically, mentally, and spiritually. I had no idea I was in a rough place because I wasn’t reflecting on it. I was just waking up every day and rinse, recycle, and repeat the same routine that was getting me through with very little hope. I was submerged in a political solution to the problems with society and that had turned out poorly. I was at odds with the hypocrisy I saw all around me in every aspect of human life and was totally blind to my own hypocrisy. And then, I finally gave up fighting the hypocrisy and I started to look for a true way to live. I was tired of my own hypocrisy that was slowly getting revealed to me. I talked a lot about being self sufficient and personal accountability BUT when the government shut downs hit, I was revealed for the hypocrite I was. I had put my faith in being able to buy my way out of situations rather than work my way out of them. And those lockdowns humbled me and made me look for another way. I had tried so many worldly ways for so long that I had to figure something else out that wasn’t the way everyone else was working things out. I could see that it was not working out for them either.
So, I started looking for Truth. And that got me into stoicism for a while and totally changing my lifestyle. It got me into spending a lot of money on dirt and reading a lot more. And after a few months of God just letting me spin and working me through things, it finally led me to His Word. And I sat down and read every book of The Bible in every version that I could find in English. And then that led me further and further into seeing all the wrong ways I had been walking. And I made it my decision at that point to change my ways. I repented of that lifestyle and began trusting in Him.
Back before, I was tired of hypocrisy and I fought against it all the time while failing to see my own hypocrisy. When confronted with my own hypocrisy, I had a choice. I had to choose to be a hypocrite also or to repent. And I have chosen to repent. And that repentance isn’t a one time thing. It is a daily process that gets so much easier all the years later. It led to a total change in my life. BUT, let me tell you, I am no longer afraid of government lockdowns. I am no longer afraid of being called a hypocrite. I am no longer afraid of where God leads. And I have found the Truth that God offers. And even though it is not where I thought this journey was going to lead, in fact, it was totally against what I had planned, here I am now reading The Bible, studying, meditating, praying, and sharing His love, grace, and mercy.
God can change things. And the most important thing He can change is you. I think too often we have a small version of God because we have such small experiences to let God change. I gave Him the ability to change everything. I surrendered it all and let Him change it all. And it has made a monumental change in my life. The more we allow GOd to move in our lives, the more He will. He respects our choice. If we only want Him to be in one spot, He will wait until we surrender it all. He is more than willing to wait. BUT if you need some change today like I did back then, like I still do today, all you have to do is let Him in. BUT if you let Him work in your life, if you truly surrender He will change it all. And you will never be the same again.