The Rational Rabbit Hole no. 18

6But I am like a worm,

crushed and bleeding crimson,

treated as less than human.

I’ve been despised and scorned by everyone!

7Mocked by their jeers, despised with their sneers,

as all the people poke fun at me, spitting their insults,

8saying, “Is this the one who trusted in God?

Now let’s see if Yahweh will come to your rescue!

Let’s see how much he delights in him!”

9Lord, you delivered me safely from my mother’s womb.

You are the one who cared for me ever since I was a baby.

10Since the day I was born, I’ve been placed in your custody.

You’ve cradled me throughout my days,

and you’ve always been my God.

11So don’t leave me now, for trouble is all around me,

and there’s no one to help me.

Psalms 22:6-11 TPT

Embrace the Within.

I fail all the time. That is a product of being human. I try to emphasize that point a lot when I talk about my journey BUT I want to make certain to draw attention to my failings so that folks do not get an unrealistic idea of what being a Christian entails. I think a lot of us look back to our youth and remember thinking that adults had it all figured out. Now that we are adults, we recognize that was our perception and a lot of smoke and mirrors. None of us have it figured out in the least. The best we can hope is to approach the model presented by Christ during the time Christ walked on earth as one of us.

There is not a day that I don’t pray for forgiveness and for understanding. There are many days when I pray about the spirit of anger and ask for more, “love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23 AMP). Not a day goes by that I couldn’t use a little bit more of those fruits. And outside of tomatoes, they are about the only fruit I spend time with daily.

Again, when I started this walk fourteen days ago, it was out of failure. And as my journey began it was filled with failure. As my journey continues, there is still failure. The failures are not there to stop me from moving forward. The failures are there to show what I need to fix, what I need God to help me fix. I think too often we tell ourselves that failure means we should stop. We’re not good enough at this thing so we might as well do something else. We act like nothing in life is a struggle. Like we were born walking and talking and reading and knowing everything we already know. Acting like life is not a process of struggling and failing and then learning.

At work, I see children barely into the second decade of their lives who have already adopted this idea of not struggling, this idea that if things are difficult that they should just give up. Children who have barely lived that are seeing this example and making it part of their identity. And I think that is a failing on each of us. We need to emphasize that we struggle, we fail, we are human BUT in spite and despite those imperfections we still wake up every day and continue. We do not give up and roll over and die because the road is difficult. We don’t stop working because we don’t get the results we want. We don’t stay home and become as children looking for someone to support our wants and needs. We struggle every day to get to our destination. We struggle every day to become that goal.

Are you struggling? Are you failing? If you are then you are on the right path. Keep working on making the change and becoming the better you.

Peace to your home. Bless your being. The reign of God is now. Have the day you want. I hope you find whatever you’re looking for.

#ThinkBetter #BeBetter #NoGodsNoMasters #MyNepheshMyChoice #MakeYourselfGreatAgain #EmbracetheWithin

The Rational Rabbit Hole no. 17

“Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean;

Get your evil deeds out of My sight.

Stop doing evil,

Learn to do good.

Seek justice,

Rebuke the ruthless,

Defend the fatherless,

Plead for the [rights of the] widow [in court].”

Isaiah 1:16-17 AMP

Embrace the Within.

Shavua tov. I think a lot of us are preoccupied with what everyone else is doing and not what we are doing. That statement in itself implies that I am also preoccupied with what others are doing BUT I am also much more worried about what I am doing. Fourteen days ago I started this path because I was fearfully concerned about what I was doing and how what I was doing was going to impact my family. And that is how I started down this path of failure and discovery to arrive at the palace I am today that is leading even further into the future.

BUT though I am very concerned about my journey, I still have compassion and understanding for what everyone else is going through as well. I have seen and felt the emotional, financial, psychological, and spiritual torment that we have all seen and felt over the past fourteen days. None of this was our fault BUT all of this is still our problem. And we get to decide now where we go from there.

I was lucky during the fourteen days. I focused my energy on changing the situation around those circumstances I couldn’t control. I worked on doing whatever I could to make certain I was not going to be fearful again that I was not going to be able to eat. So, I learned and practiced what I learned to make my life what I wanted it to become. Some of us were too afraid, some of us were broke, some of us were broken, and some of us were apathetic. We all had a variety of excuses and still probably do for not getting our homes in order. There are many things we can blame or be ashamed about. If we are going to make change, though, we need to claim our power to make things different. And that power is from learning to do the right thing. As the prophet Isaiah brilliantly expresses in these lines from the opening of his prophetic work, “Stop doing evil,/Learn to do good.” Is there anything more simple and so complicated simultaneously?

Some of us have been trying to do good and some of us are covered in the dirt of evil. Getting clean is a journey just as arduous and complicated as getting dirty was easy and gradual. The longer we have been dirty, then the more difficult it will be to turn those ways aside and start working on cleanliness. Some of us don’t want to get clean because it is too much work. Eventually, you have to take ownership of your nephesh and decide whether you are going to live as God wants or live as you want. That voice will never get drowned away. That voice will never be eradicated from your mind. That voice will always be there to help bring you back to the grace and abundance that awaits the eternal you. If you listen long enough, if you listen closely, you can hear it as I did. And the most important, the greatest, the only true journey of your life can begin. Listen?

Peace to your home. Bless your being. The reign of God is now. Have the day you want. I hope you find whatever you’re looking for.

#ThinkBetter #BeBetter #NoGodsNoMasters #MyNepheshMyChoice #MakeYourselfGreatAgain #EmbracetheWithin