6But I am like a worm,
crushed and bleeding crimson,
treated as less than human.
I’ve been despised and scorned by everyone!
7Mocked by their jeers, despised with their sneers,
as all the people poke fun at me, spitting their insults,
8saying, “Is this the one who trusted in God?
Now let’s see if Yahweh will come to your rescue!
Let’s see how much he delights in him!”
9Lord, you delivered me safely from my mother’s womb.
You are the one who cared for me ever since I was a baby.
10Since the day I was born, I’ve been placed in your custody.
You’ve cradled me throughout my days,
and you’ve always been my God.
11So don’t leave me now, for trouble is all around me,
and there’s no one to help me.
Psalms 22:6-11 TPT
Embrace the Within.
I fail all the time. That is a product of being human. I try to emphasize that point a lot when I talk about my journey BUT I want to make certain to draw attention to my failings so that folks do not get an unrealistic idea of what being a Christian entails. I think a lot of us look back to our youth and remember thinking that adults had it all figured out. Now that we are adults, we recognize that was our perception and a lot of smoke and mirrors. None of us have it figured out in the least. The best we can hope is to approach the model presented by Christ during the time Christ walked on earth as one of us.
There is not a day that I don’t pray for forgiveness and for understanding. There are many days when I pray about the spirit of anger and ask for more, “love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23 AMP). Not a day goes by that I couldn’t use a little bit more of those fruits. And outside of tomatoes, they are about the only fruit I spend time with daily.
Again, when I started this walk fourteen days ago, it was out of failure. And as my journey began it was filled with failure. As my journey continues, there is still failure. The failures are not there to stop me from moving forward. The failures are there to show what I need to fix, what I need God to help me fix. I think too often we tell ourselves that failure means we should stop. We’re not good enough at this thing so we might as well do something else. We act like nothing in life is a struggle. Like we were born walking and talking and reading and knowing everything we already know. Acting like life is not a process of struggling and failing and then learning.
At work, I see children barely into the second decade of their lives who have already adopted this idea of not struggling, this idea that if things are difficult that they should just give up. Children who have barely lived that are seeing this example and making it part of their identity. And I think that is a failing on each of us. We need to emphasize that we struggle, we fail, we are human BUT in spite and despite those imperfections we still wake up every day and continue. We do not give up and roll over and die because the road is difficult. We don’t stop working because we don’t get the results we want. We don’t stay home and become as children looking for someone to support our wants and needs. We struggle every day to get to our destination. We struggle every day to become that goal.
Are you struggling? Are you failing? If you are then you are on the right path. Keep working on making the change and becoming the better you.
Peace to your home. Bless your being. The reign of God is now. Have the day you want. I hope you find whatever you’re looking for.